2009 Feb - Blog
February 6, 2009 - FridayJeremy Lee McGraner
Current mood: sad
Category: Life
It's four years and counting. 4 years ago today, was super bowl sunday, but for my family and I and many more scattered across this country, our lives changed forever. One dear to us going by the name Jeremy Lee McGraner had past on. It seems as though just as I had a brother in-law and another "bro" to hang with, he was taken from me. Now, I may not have known him for long, and many more people may have known him way better, but it doesn't mean that I didn't already love him and care for him any less than anyone else.
However the passing of Jeremy did bring me to meet many others. If he hadn't past Nicole wouldn't be in our lives. Whom of which I have started to grow very fond of. So perhaps Jeremy wanted my sister to be happy by bringing her to our lives because he knew that he wasn't going to be holding on to that specific role anymore. I also had the oppurtunity to meet his family on the other side of the Mississippi whom we all love. One can look at it in any matter that they so choose. What was god's plan? It's been 4 years to the day and that question still comes up, unanswered.
Five years and now, I can barely remember him. I can faintly see that smile, his laugh, and well his humongous stature. I hate the feeling of non-remembrance. It's only been four years, I shouldn't be feeling this way. I'm trying so hard to remember who he was and still is to me. Ya i only met him about twice, however, it was more than enough to leave the impact in my heart and soul for a lifetime.
I remember when i first met him I had seen a ring on his and my sister's ringer fingers on the appropriate hand. Now i asked if she had been married, of course my sister's response was no, however, I attended the funeral and my sister's name was pronounced with his last name added to hers. Apparently the visit to her house was disguised and we were really going to meet her husband which i knew not of. It hurts me to know what could've been, I had a brother in-law for about 8 months whom I not of, technically.
To wrap up, I see all the things that my sister writes about him visiting her in her dreams and everything with a connection to Jeremy is leaving us and it breaks my heart just the same as it had 4 years ago. My sister constently wishes him here and I wish i could give it to her, but it's just one wish that's out of my control. I hate it. I have to watch slide shows and look at pictures to remind myself because the brief time i had with my brother in-law are fading fast. I hate that as well. Why is it that I can name the events in their entirety leading up and including the funeral. (My time in Ohio), and not those that should've made a bigger impact, those memories that I would love to remember and maybe possibly continue to make. At this very moment, it's raining, it seems like the type of weather that one wold expect on a day like this. But on the contrary this is a time of remembrance, of course crying is fine, but glommyness isn't. Let's rejoice and celebrate his life together. I send my condolences to Jeremy's friends all around the country, his family in Ohio, his daughter Mariah, and my sister joy, whom i want nothing more than to see happiness
-James White